Happy Thanksgiving–CoronaLife Day 621

These past few years have felt like one very long grind, but there are still things to be thankful for.

First, health. We lost an uncle to Covid and an aunt to other medical issues this year, and my husband experienced a health scare that luckily turned out okay. But that just heightens my gratitude that, right now, my family is healthy.

Second, semi-normalcy. Things are still not normal, which in some ways is harder than when they are crazy different. But some normalcy is creeping back. My child is back in person at school. She is back swimming. We can visit with my parents spontaneously again. I was able to visit safely with a friend from out of state. We are inching toward normal. It feels like a slow-motion springtime, as the world opens like a hesitant flower.

Finally, I am thankful for the gathering in. This Thanksgiving is with my mom’s family, about 40 people strong. Vaccination and precautions have allowed us to gather safely again. I am grateful to the scientists and doctors that have made it possible for us to once more enjoy the warmth and joy of family gathered together to celebrate life and love.

I wish everyone warmth, safety, and comfort in this Thanksgiving season.

Thanksgiving 2017

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers in the USA! I hope that you are having a good time with family or friends, that you have someplace warm to go, and that you enjoy a feast tonight.

I have much to be thankful for this year. I have a healthy family, including a husband I love and a daughter who is my heart. I have a snug home and enough food. I have a career I enjoy and which is moving in good directions.

I am lucky. I have all I need and more. There are many who are not as lucky. During this holiday season, may we all take a moment to lend a hand to those in need. Contribute to a food drive, donate to a charity, give items to Goodwill or the like, clean out your closet and give your lightly-worn clothes to a charity, volunteer at any organization that stirs your passion and compassion. There is so much that can be done with little effort.

My thankful list is a long one, and includes all of my readers. It is my wish that all of you have everything you need and more.

Have a safe and happy holiday, and I will see you back here next week!

Year-End Reflections: Looking back to move forward

I know that we still have a few weeks until the end of 2016, but I’m in a reflective mood. Thanksgiving was a time to reflect on the many good things in my life. My upcoming birthday is a time to see where I am and where I’m going. Christmas is always a time of joy and hope. And eventually the New Year will be here. So my year-end reflections linger for quite a long time.

Thanksgiving was hectic this year, with a compressed travel time, but the holiday did hold some quiet moments—and a great deal to be thankful for. My family means the world to me, and the fact that we are all healthy, safe, and content in our lives is a blessing.

Witch of Zal year-end reflectionsOn my “book birthday” I looked at where I started with my book, The Witch of Zal, and where I stood after a year. I needed to assess the way I spent my time and energy in marketing the book to see what worked, what didn’t, and where I could improve. So it is with my real birthday—I need to assess what I have done through the past year, and what I need to change or tweak to get me closer to the goals I have for my life.

Christmas has long been my favorite time of year. The idealist in me has always responded to the “peace on earth, goodwill to men” mantra of the season. I’m all for anything that makes people actively think about how they treat other people, and encourages generosity and inclusion. With the recent election leaving so many people reeling and frightened for themselves or people they love, I need the healing power of Christmas to help me get back to believing in the inherent goodness of people.

Christmas decorations also brings back a lot of memories in my year-end reflections. So many of my ornaments are sentimental as well as beautiful. The Little Drummer Boy commemorating the year I played said character while having a high fever and dealing with a similarly ill cast:

Little Drummer Boy ornament year-end reflections

An Egyptian-themed ball that I bought for my best friend, who died before we exchanged presents:

Egyptian ornament year-end reflections

Many horse and unicorn ornaments, because, well, horses and unicorns!

Unicorn ornament year-end reflections

New family ornaments for my wedding and my daughter’s birth:

Family ornament year-end reflections

I don’t need an angel to show me that I have had a pretty wonderful life.

Then comes New Year, that time of year is intimately associated with resolutions. No resolutions for me, but I do create goals for the year—both personal and business. For instance, I have new plans for marketing my book. Also, I need to push outside my personal comfort zone to continue to expand my career.

So this past week I have indulged in some year-end reflections. Overall, I’m happy with where I am, and looking forward to the road ahead. I’m a little nervous, because life stories always have unexpected plot twists, but I hope I can rise to meet any challenges I face.

Does the end of the year make you thoughtful, or is it just another time of year for you?

Christmas tree year-end reflections

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Thankful for One Year as a Published Author

Thankful for one year of The Witch of ZalMy debut novel, The Witch of Zal, launched November 4, 2015, so I have been doing this published-author thing for a little over a year now. On this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the many people who have helped me make the transition, and for the many experiences that have helped me grow as an author and a person in the past year.

First, I am thankful to all the people who helped me improve my craft over the years, and who supported me through the writer’s journey, such as J. Thomas Ross, Nancy Keim Comley, Gwen Huber, Matt Q. McGovern, Bob Drumm, Lois Steinberg, Kathryn Craft, Jonathan Maberry, Don Lafferty, Jim Kempner, Jeff Pero, Keith Strunk, Donna Galanti, and all the others who have supported me in hundreds of small ways.

Second, I am thankful for those who gave me business advice and guidance, such as Jonathan Maberry, Donna Galanti, Marie Lamba, Uwe Stender, my publisher Charles Day and his editor Mary Harris, various people I have chatted with at author events, and pretty much everyone at the Writers’ Coffeehouses who bring perspective and their own experiences to the table every month.

Third (maybe this should be first, LOL) I am thankful for my family. My parents for encouraging me all my life, my brother for not killing me when we were kids, my husband for putting up with my living in a dream world, and my daughter for believing I am an artist even when I don’t feel like one. Also, for my extended family and life-long friends for supporting and encouraging me through this long, strange journey.

Thankful for summer campFinally, I am thankful for challenges. Yes, challenges. Because as an introvert with anxiety disorder, being a published author is a smorgasbord of panic-inducing moments. Book launch. Speeches. Group author events. Traveling to places unknown. Summer camp workshops—with real live actual kids. So many kids. Author panels. Talking to strangers. Lots and lots of talking to strangers. However, I have faced these challenges so far and conquered the fear. I have stepped out of my comfort zone and stretched myself as a person.

I am thankful for this first year as a published author—and to all the many people who have helped get me here. Writing is the effort of a single person, but publishing takes a community. I am so thankful that all of you are mine.

Thankful for book launch

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

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Thanksgiving 2015

Thanksgiving is a time when I think about all the things I am grateful for in my life. I realize I am very lucky because I have a whole lot to be thankful for.

NEW RELEASE!Most recently, my debut novel, THE WITCH OF ZAL, came out this month! I have finally achieved the dream of being a real author with a real book. Many people don’t ever get to achieve their dreams, and I am so grateful to all the people who shared this long journey with me and supported me in so many ways.

I am also thankful for my family. My parents are still alive and healthy and very involved in their grandchildren’s lives. I have a friend who lost both her parents this year (only 12 days apart), and that has made me appreciate having them even more. I’m even thankful for my “little” brother—we are very different, but I know he’ll have my back if I ever need him. A far cry from the bratty kid I fought with all the time!

Of course my husband and daughter are high on my “thankful for” list. My wonderful husband supports me in so many ways, and we’re really two peas in a pod. And my daughter, my “Kinder-girl” as she is known on Facebook, keeps me hopping and makes me laugh and amazes me each day as she grows into her own person.

Friends are also precious, and I have too many to name here that have been there for me in times of need. Whether just listening to me vent, or going out of their way to help me out, my friends have helped me through a lot.

I have so much else to be thankful for. I have a warm house and enough food and clothes. We have enough money to be secure and we live in a relatively safe environment. Looking at the frightening things happening today, the masses of people who have nothing, who have left everything they knew, makes me hold very dear the things I do have—things so easy to take for granted.

So take a moment today to reflect on what you have to be thankful for. Life can get hectic and we forget what we have in the rush to try and get further ahead, further up the ladder, further than the people next door. For just one day, stop the rat race and cherish what you have—what you have accomplished. Life is short, so take a moment to enjoy it.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Crossing Bridges

I never used to be afraid of heights, but as I got to around 30, I started feeling disoriented when up high. Not spinning dizzy like true vertigo, but unstable and with the overwhelming certainty that I would fall. For a person who used to crawl around amongst the lights high above the theater stage, and shoot video from ladders and often-rickety press boxes, this was disturbing.

Nowhere else in my daily life does this impact me more than when I have to drive across a bridge. Most bridges terrify me. I am not talking about butterflies in the stomach. I am talking about my heart pounding so hard I can hear the blood in my ears, my throat so constricted I can’t swallow while feeling like I’m going to throw up, hyperventilating or forgetting to breathe at all, and my thighs shaking like I’m freezing while my face is burning red hot—all at the same time. The anxiety over crossing the bridge is amplified by my body’s out-of-control betrayal.

So, yeah, it’s a problem.

The disorientation is worst at night. When I am out on the bridge, I simply get lost in space. Although my logic knows that if I keep straight in the lane, I will safely cross the bridge, I get a physical sensation as if something is pulling me toward the edge. I irrationally fear that someday my brain will “give in” to this imagined pull and I will allow myself to steer over the edge. Again, my logic knows I will not (since I am fully aware of what is happening), but this irrationality is part of the panic response.

The other day I had to come home from Delaware at night, and I had to cross a bridge. I knew the fear was getting the better of me when I actually considered driving an hour out of my way to take a route that would cross a bridge that did not scare me. I convinced myself that 5 minutes of terror was smarter than an extra hour of driving. So I crossed that bridge when I came to it.

I have several methods of forcing myself across a bridge. If the fear isn’t too bad, I sing. The music is relaxing, and it forces me to regulate my breath, thus avoiding hyperventilation. When the panic is at its height, my brain goes deathly silent and I cannot bring any songs to mind. Then I talk my way over the bridge. Another mechanism is putting the sun visor down (even at night) because cutting off parts of my peripheral vision seems to lessen the disorientation. A third coping skill is “hooking,” where I “hook” the tires closest to the center of the bridge over the dotted white line. Yes, this does put me a little in the other lane, but it somehow decreases that physical feeling of being pulled toward the outer edge of the bridge. I only do it when I think it will not impede traffic—or when the panic is so bad I have to use everything.

This night I couldn’t find any music in my head (“Danny Boy” had gotten me across going down to Delaware earlier). I put down the sun visor, white-knuckled the steering wheel, managed to find a tar strip down the center of the lane closest to the middle of the bridge to “hook”, and talked myself across: “You can do it. You can do it. You can do it.” Over and over.

And then I was across.

The reason for this long tale? Because we all have bridges to cross in life, and many times it’s scary. Even when what’s on the other side is a goal we have worked toward, a life we have dreamed of, or a person we love, crossing that bridge can seem a terrifying task. We fear the disorientation, the possibility of crashing off the edge before we reach the other side. But if we really want what’s waiting for us on the other side, we have to find a way to cross.

Today, on Thanksgiving, I want to thank all the people in my life—colleagues, friends, and family—who have helped me cross myriad bridges, both real and metaphorical. I would not be where I am without each and every one of you, and I am grateful.

If you’re facing a bridge you’re afraid to cross, remember: What’s on the other side is worth the fear. You can do it.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

GoosesQuill FB

Thanksgiving 2012

 In our culture, it’s easy to not be grateful for what we have. We are constantly bombarded with the newest gadgets, bigger houses, more elaborate lifestyles. And even in our daily life, we wish some things were easier/better, or that we had what someone else has, or that a dream we held dear would come true.

It is so easy to lose sight of what we have.

Thanksgiving is, of course, a good time of year to look at our lives and be thankful for what we have. Coming so close on the heels of Hurricane Sandy, I am immensely thankful for the sturdy roof over our heads, the electricity running through our power lines, and the easy fulfillment of our basic necessities such as food and water and heat. We were so, so much luckier than so many of the people not so far from us.

The other things I am thankful for sound familiar, and that’s because these things should be the most important in our lives. I am thankful for my family. I have a wonderful, loving husband who supports my writing dreams and me in every way. I have a healthy, energetic, intelligent Toddler girl who can drive me up a wall but whom I love with all my heart. I am lucky enough to still have my parents, healthy and active. And my brother, who I fought like crazy with as a child, but who I am so proud to have as an ally in my life now. My extended family—sisters-in-law, nephews, nieces, mom-in-law, cousins, aunts and uncles—is warm and generous and I am grateful knowing that if I ever need them they will have my back.

I am thankful for my writing community, who have helped support and forward my dream—including all of my blog readers. My Author Chronicles pals have shared the burden of creating author platform, my Advanced Writing Workshop classmates help keep me laughing and energized, and my beta readers, Nancy Keim Comley, J. Thomas Ross, and Bob Drumm lift my writing to higher levels. Professional mentors (and friends) Jonathan Maberry, Marie Lamba, and Kathryn Craft have help sharpen my writing skills and keep me from giving up on this long journey.

I am thankful for my health and that of those I care about, for the opportunity to pursue my writing dream, and for the 3 mornings a week my Toddler is now in preschool so I can write!

Mostly, I am thankful for the love in my life.

Without love, the rest means nothing.

With love, I already have everything.


Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

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