Headaches – CoronaLife Day 138

I’ve had headaches for most of the week. A lot of it is eye strain, I’ve been on the computer a whole lot lately. I always get eye strain from that. But a lot of it is stress, too.

I have a headache because yesterday my school district held its Board of Ed meeting to vote on the reopening plan we will submit to the state Department of Education for approval. Some parents were okay with it. Some were not. I can honestly say not one person is really happy about it. We all want things back to normal, but normal is not on the table this year. So we follow the guidelines and do the best we can, knowing that at any moment a directive can come down from above and change absolutely everything in the plan. I understand the issues people have. I hear them. But given the guidelines we have, this is the best we can do with the resources we have. My heart hurts for all of us.

I have a headache because my mother had back surgery Wednesday. I’ve been worried. Back surgery is always tricky. She came through it great, so far. If it wasn’t for COVID, I’d be going over to help get the house ready for her to come home. Maybe stay a few days to help out. But I can’t do that, and that squeezes my heart.

I have a headache because I have pandemic fatigue. Don’t we all? I am tired of being careful. Tired of thinking about it. Tired of tracking the numbers (going back up in my state, by the way). Tired of waiting for someone I love to get sick. Tired of keeping my kid home. Tired of never being alone. Tired of parenting 24/7. Tired of never, ever getting a break from any of it. Tired of seeing so much precious time with my parents missed, so much of my daughter’s irretrievable childhood slip away in pandemic limbo. My heart cries for all of us.

Maybe it’s not headaches after all.

Maybe it’s all heartache.

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