Thanksgiving 2017

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers in the USA! I hope that you are having a good time with family or friends, that you have someplace warm to go, and that you enjoy a feast tonight.

I have much to be thankful for this year. I have a healthy family, including a husband I love and a daughter who is my heart. I have a snug home and enough food. I have a career I enjoy and which is moving in good directions.

I am lucky. I have all I need and more. There are many who are not as lucky. During this holiday season, may we all take a moment to lend a hand to those in need. Contribute to a food drive, donate to a charity, give items to Goodwill or the like, clean out your closet and give your lightly-worn clothes to a charity, volunteer at any organization that stirs your passion and compassion. There is so much that can be done with little effort.

My thankful list is a long one, and includes all of my readers. It is my wish that all of you have everything you need and more.

Have a safe and happy holiday, and I will see you back here next week!

Year-End Reflections: Looking back to move forward

I know that we still have a few weeks until the end of 2016, but I’m in a reflective mood. Thanksgiving was a time to reflect on the many good things in my life. My upcoming birthday is a time to see where I am and where I’m going. Christmas is always a time of joy and hope. And eventually the New Year will be here. So my year-end reflections linger for quite a long time.

Thanksgiving was hectic this year, with a compressed travel time, but the holiday did hold some quiet moments—and a great deal to be thankful for. My family means the world to me, and the fact that we are all healthy, safe, and content in our lives is a blessing.

Witch of Zal year-end reflectionsOn my “book birthday” I looked at where I started with my book, The Witch of Zal, and where I stood after a year. I needed to assess the way I spent my time and energy in marketing the book to see what worked, what didn’t, and where I could improve. So it is with my real birthday—I need to assess what I have done through the past year, and what I need to change or tweak to get me closer to the goals I have for my life.

Christmas has long been my favorite time of year. The idealist in me has always responded to the “peace on earth, goodwill to men” mantra of the season. I’m all for anything that makes people actively think about how they treat other people, and encourages generosity and inclusion. With the recent election leaving so many people reeling and frightened for themselves or people they love, I need the healing power of Christmas to help me get back to believing in the inherent goodness of people.

Christmas decorations also brings back a lot of memories in my year-end reflections. So many of my ornaments are sentimental as well as beautiful. The Little Drummer Boy commemorating the year I played said character while having a high fever and dealing with a similarly ill cast:

Little Drummer Boy ornament year-end reflections

An Egyptian-themed ball that I bought for my best friend, who died before we exchanged presents:

Egyptian ornament year-end reflections

Many horse and unicorn ornaments, because, well, horses and unicorns!

Unicorn ornament year-end reflections

New family ornaments for my wedding and my daughter’s birth:

Family ornament year-end reflections

I don’t need an angel to show me that I have had a pretty wonderful life.

Then comes New Year, that time of year is intimately associated with resolutions. No resolutions for me, but I do create goals for the year—both personal and business. For instance, I have new plans for marketing my book. Also, I need to push outside my personal comfort zone to continue to expand my career.

So this past week I have indulged in some year-end reflections. Overall, I’m happy with where I am, and looking forward to the road ahead. I’m a little nervous, because life stories always have unexpected plot twists, but I hope I can rise to meet any challenges I face.

Does the end of the year make you thoughtful, or is it just another time of year for you?

Christmas tree year-end reflections

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Thanksgiving 2015

Thanksgiving is a time when I think about all the things I am grateful for in my life. I realize I am very lucky because I have a whole lot to be thankful for.

NEW RELEASE!Most recently, my debut novel, THE WITCH OF ZAL, came out this month! I have finally achieved the dream of being a real author with a real book. Many people don’t ever get to achieve their dreams, and I am so grateful to all the people who shared this long journey with me and supported me in so many ways.

I am also thankful for my family. My parents are still alive and healthy and very involved in their grandchildren’s lives. I have a friend who lost both her parents this year (only 12 days apart), and that has made me appreciate having them even more. I’m even thankful for my “little” brother—we are very different, but I know he’ll have my back if I ever need him. A far cry from the bratty kid I fought with all the time!

Of course my husband and daughter are high on my “thankful for” list. My wonderful husband supports me in so many ways, and we’re really two peas in a pod. And my daughter, my “Kinder-girl” as she is known on Facebook, keeps me hopping and makes me laugh and amazes me each day as she grows into her own person.

Friends are also precious, and I have too many to name here that have been there for me in times of need. Whether just listening to me vent, or going out of their way to help me out, my friends have helped me through a lot.

I have so much else to be thankful for. I have a warm house and enough food and clothes. We have enough money to be secure and we live in a relatively safe environment. Looking at the frightening things happening today, the masses of people who have nothing, who have left everything they knew, makes me hold very dear the things I do have—things so easy to take for granted.

So take a moment today to reflect on what you have to be thankful for. Life can get hectic and we forget what we have in the rush to try and get further ahead, further up the ladder, further than the people next door. For just one day, stop the rat race and cherish what you have—what you have accomplished. Life is short, so take a moment to enjoy it.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Crossing Bridges

I never used to be afraid of heights, but as I got to around 30, I started feeling disoriented when up high. Not spinning dizzy like true vertigo, but unstable and with the overwhelming certainty that I would fall. For a person who used to crawl around amongst the lights high above the theater stage, and shoot video from ladders and often-rickety press boxes, this was disturbing.

Nowhere else in my daily life does this impact me more than when I have to drive across a bridge. Most bridges terrify me. I am not talking about butterflies in the stomach. I am talking about my heart pounding so hard I can hear the blood in my ears, my throat so constricted I can’t swallow while feeling like I’m going to throw up, hyperventilating or forgetting to breathe at all, and my thighs shaking like I’m freezing while my face is burning red hot—all at the same time. The anxiety over crossing the bridge is amplified by my body’s out-of-control betrayal.

So, yeah, it’s a problem.

The disorientation is worst at night. When I am out on the bridge, I simply get lost in space. Although my logic knows that if I keep straight in the lane, I will safely cross the bridge, I get a physical sensation as if something is pulling me toward the edge. I irrationally fear that someday my brain will “give in” to this imagined pull and I will allow myself to steer over the edge. Again, my logic knows I will not (since I am fully aware of what is happening), but this irrationality is part of the panic response.

The other day I had to come home from Delaware at night, and I had to cross a bridge. I knew the fear was getting the better of me when I actually considered driving an hour out of my way to take a route that would cross a bridge that did not scare me. I convinced myself that 5 minutes of terror was smarter than an extra hour of driving. So I crossed that bridge when I came to it.

I have several methods of forcing myself across a bridge. If the fear isn’t too bad, I sing. The music is relaxing, and it forces me to regulate my breath, thus avoiding hyperventilation. When the panic is at its height, my brain goes deathly silent and I cannot bring any songs to mind. Then I talk my way over the bridge. Another mechanism is putting the sun visor down (even at night) because cutting off parts of my peripheral vision seems to lessen the disorientation. A third coping skill is “hooking,” where I “hook” the tires closest to the center of the bridge over the dotted white line. Yes, this does put me a little in the other lane, but it somehow decreases that physical feeling of being pulled toward the outer edge of the bridge. I only do it when I think it will not impede traffic—or when the panic is so bad I have to use everything.

This night I couldn’t find any music in my head (“Danny Boy” had gotten me across going down to Delaware earlier). I put down the sun visor, white-knuckled the steering wheel, managed to find a tar strip down the center of the lane closest to the middle of the bridge to “hook”, and talked myself across: “You can do it. You can do it. You can do it.” Over and over.

And then I was across.

The reason for this long tale? Because we all have bridges to cross in life, and many times it’s scary. Even when what’s on the other side is a goal we have worked toward, a life we have dreamed of, or a person we love, crossing that bridge can seem a terrifying task. We fear the disorientation, the possibility of crashing off the edge before we reach the other side. But if we really want what’s waiting for us on the other side, we have to find a way to cross.

Today, on Thanksgiving, I want to thank all the people in my life—colleagues, friends, and family—who have helped me cross myriad bridges, both real and metaphorical. I would not be where I am without each and every one of you, and I am grateful.

If you’re facing a bridge you’re afraid to cross, remember: What’s on the other side is worth the fear. You can do it.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

GoosesQuill FB

Thanksgiving 2011

Since it’s Thanksgiving, I’m going to be completely cliché and talk about what I’m thankful for.

I’m not particularly thankful for the big dinner, because I don’t eat turkey or most of the trimmings, but I am thankful for the fact I have food to eat all year round.

I am very thankful for my family and my husband’s family, who are all warm, loving people who are supportive and are great role models for what family should mean.

I am most thankful for my immediate family—my husband and my daughter. I spent many years being lonely before I found my husband, and he changed my life for the better in more ways than I can count. His greatest gift to me was our baby girl, who lights up my days even when I’m not feeling so great, and who reminds me that laughter really is the best medicine.

But I also wanted to look at what I am thankful for in my writing career. So often I think we authors get so caught up in reaching the next level, we forget to look at where we are and how much we have already achieved to get there.

I am thankful for having wonderful teachers—authors like Jonathan Maberry and Marie Lamba who give me and others the benefit of their time and expertise.

I am thankful for the community of writers that I have found—supportive and welcoming and very, very helpful to all who show up with a sincere desire to write and improve their writing.

I am thankful for my writing friends, especially my Author Chronicles partners, who are always there to share the ups and downs of the journey.

I am thankful for the passion that has kept me writing for so many years. I feel that few people are able to pursue their real passion in a meaningful way, and so I am thankful for this.

I am thankful that my years of hard work have not been in vain. My writing is miles better than it was just a few years ago, and I continue to learn and improve every day.

Even though I am not yet published, when I look at where I am in my career, I can honestly say that I am closer than I have ever been. It no longer seems so pie-in-the-sky, but like an objective that can be met someday.

I am thankful for Donna Hanson Woolman, who walked 18 years of this writing journey with me before going on ahead. Even now, she walks with me every day.

I am thankful for my life, the opportunities I have had, and most importantly those who have loved me along the way and love me still. I would be nothing and nowhere without each and every one of you, and I am thankful for that every day—not just on Thanksgiving.

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