One thing about the social distancing and quarantine…as an introvert, having a reason not to be social has been great. Staying home has worked for me on many levels. I really appreciated not having to run my daughter to her numerous activities, and just being able to hide out in my little nest.
The problem is, introverts need to force themselves to be social in order to keep up the skill. Not having to be social on a regular basis is making my social muscles flabby, as another writer said. I think there is a real risk I will not want to come back out of the house even when it is finally all clear to do so. And I might have forgotten how to have a conversation, as well.
This week I exercised those social muscles a bit. PTA meeting on Monday, orthodontist with the child on Tuesday, handed off info to the new PTA treasurer Wednesday, and picking up my daughter’s school supplies from school and meeting her teacher on Thursday. It’s a bit nerve-wracking, to be honest. I have an anxiety disorder, which has not made the stress any easier through all of this, and it makes it hard to move from a “hunker-down” mindset to a “gotta do stuff” mindset.
I am looking forward to sinking back into my cozy safe haven for the next few days, until school starts on Tuesday. It will be remote, but I expect the first week will be quite the adjustment. For one thing, night owl me will have to start getting up early again to make sure my young one is up and fed in time for check in. Still, while having no routine was nice for the summer, it is time for us to get back into it. Maybe with my daughter having a routine, I will find a groove and start getting some work done again.
Happy September, everyone!
Stamina–CoronaLife Day 607
Every day at bedtime, my daughter complains that her legs ache. This is not a surprise. After 18 months of mostly being home, combined with being on crutches all of August and in an ankle brace all of September, she is tremendously out of shape. That 40 minutes of exercise in gym every day has her muscles balking.
I sit here watching her swim laps, working on her endurance with the rest of her class…and I realize she is not the only one in need of more stamina.
My daily fatigue has been with me since the pandemic started, and I attributed a lot of it to my anxiety levels being through the roof. My anxiety often manifests as deep fatigue. Add to that the fact that I often only get about 6 hours of sleep a night, and it made sense.
But now I think there is another factor. As we move back to a more normal-ish existence, I am going out more. Socializing more. Interacting more.
And my mental and social muscles are flabby. I have no stamina.
The 45 minute drive to my folks’ house, which used to be nothing, is a grueling trek.
Going to a meeting in person makes me want to hibernate.
Focusing for 4 hours at an online conference drains me.
I need to build my stamina again.
I find myself working in bursts, trading spurts of productivity with times of scrolling mindlessly online or napping.
Concentration and socializing skills need exercise to stay in shape. This is the “learning loss” I have experienced during this upheaval.
While my daughter works on her swimming endurance, I will continue to work on getting myself back in mental shape.
I hope I can, because I am tired of not feeling like myself. It will take work, time, and patience–which is just another way of saying stamina.