Comparing Yourself to Others…and Your Past Self

May 23, 2019 By 1 Comment

This week Jami Gold had a blog post that reminded all of us that we cannot judge our own progress by that of other writers. I am terrible about doing this. One writer I know has 4 young children and another on the way, yet she writes about 100,000 words a months.

Talk about demoralizing. I’m here with my one kid who is getting old enough to take more care of herself, and I’m struggling to get 100,000 words a year.

I can’t help but wonder what’s wrong with me.

So Jami’s advice is good for me to hear. But it’s not just me comparing myself to other people that’s the problem. It’s also me comparing myself to a younger me—and in some ways that’s worse.

I used to be a writing machine. Words would pour out of me and my word count was astronomical. Now it’s…not. I’ve improved a bit over the past couple of months, but I really miss the writer I used to be.

So I think I have to work on accepting that I am not the writer I used to be, not for lack of talent or desire, but just because life is different. There are things taking up time and energy now that were not there before. More things to navigate and juggle, but also stressors that impede creativity and make it difficult to access creativity when I do have time.

I’m working on fixing some of these things, but mostly I’m working on being kinder to myself and accepting that this is my “now”. In a year or two, I will have a different “now”, and who knows what that will look like, writing-wise?

Are you your own worst critic? How do you deal with accepting the limitations you have on your writing life?

The Best of The Goose’s Quill 2018

January 3, 2019 By Leave a Comment

I always enjoy looking back over the past year and seeing what posts readers enjoyed most. I see an unexpected pattern with the top 4. Enjoy!

10. Genetic Genealogy: Proving the Paper Trail

9. Anxiety Spiral: Idling in “A” Gear

8. Control Your Inner Critic: The Power of a Name

7. Power Outage 2018

6. The Split Brain Phenomenon: On the Outside Looking In

5. On Being a Low-Energy Person in a High-Energy World

4. Spring Book Fair 2018: Snowmaggedon!

3. The Enchanted Book Fair: Fall 2018

2. 48 Years

1. Book Fair Magic: Casting a Reading Spell

Thank you to everyone who has read The Goose’s Quill this year! I hope you all have a safe healthy, happy 2019!

Back to School, Back to Work

September 6, 2018 By Leave a Comment

Today is my daughter’s first day back to school–which means it is also my first day back to work. Now I will have about 6 hours a day to accomplish things before she comes home. I like this schedule because it gives me quiet, concentrated time to work. Also, because I do it while she’s not home, I can be more present for her once she comes home. Over the summer it feels like a constant push-pull, wanting to spend the time with her but needing to get certain things done.

I have my plans in place (and we’ll see how those plans work out, LOL). Today I plan to catch up on PTA Treasurer stuff, and maybe squeeze in one or two other household things I’ve been putting off. Tomorrow I have to finish and send to the printer my brochure for my campaign for the local school board. I need them by Sept 22nd, and I have suddenly realized that is not all that far off!

Next week, with those large projects out of the way, I hope to settle into a school-year work routine. A couple of years ago I had one that worked well, but for reasons I still can’t pinpoint, it rather fell apart over the last year. As a result, my productivity slipped and my self-esteem as a writer with it.

I want to get back to writing every day. Doesn’t have to be much every day, but I would like to work on my fiction a little every day. Make it a priority again. Like many of us, I fall into the trap of putting everyone else first. Next thing I know, the day is gone and I’ve done nothing for me or my own work. I want to try to balance that a bit more. I know I’ll feel better about myself if I do, even though it’s hard.

So for me, back to school means back to work. Does back to school change things in your routine?

August Days: Lazy Yet Anticipatory

August 30, 2018 By Leave a Comment

This time next week, my daughter will be back in school. The last lazy days of summer are winding their way past us.

Gone will be the days of sleeping in, reading for hours, spending afternoons in the park, and taking long evening walks as the sun lingers in the sky. Play dates, vacations, and excursions to interesting places and events will be replaced by early bedtime, homework, and normal extracurricular activities.

Also gone will be the days where writing time is scarce and schedules are a fantasy. As much as I cherish my summer days with my gal, I will be relieved to have my structure back. I work best with a routine, and that is brought home to me every summer vacation.

I have several projects I am dying to dive into, but I need some concentrated time to do the necessary revisions. I also have some non-writing projects that I have let slide over the summer that I want to re-energize.

The end of summer is always bittersweet. A time of enjoying the easy pace of summer and time with my girl, but also a time if looking forward to a return to productivity and focus.

Do you look forward to the end of summer?

Goals for 2018

January 4, 2018 By Leave a Comment

If you missed last week’s Top Posts of 2017, check it out!

January is traditionally a time to re-examine your life and set goals for the new year.

Last year in early January, I had looked back at my 2016 productivity and been pleased. My intention was to keep up the good work through 2017 and churn out more work.

So how did I do?

I was only about 13,000 words below my word count for last year (405,116 to 417,914). I also had 20,000 more words in the time-consuming category of Rewrite/Revision (defined as a major reworking of already existing words), which may have accounted for the overall deficit. So I am pretty pleased with myself, considering how frazzled and unproductive I felt, particularly at the end of the year.

What plans do I have for 2018? I would like to keep my productivity on par with the past two years, and also pursue 3 other goals.

1.  I am going to query my middle grade novel to 50 more agents. I put a list together over the Christmas break, so I am ready to go with that.

2.  I am going to finish my YA SciFi and then query. Another month should see the edits finished. I compiled a list of 50 agents for this book, too, and am working on the query letter.

3.  This one is a little harder to quantify. Last year, especially the last 4 months, I felt like I was running nonstop yet not getting anything of substance done. I was exhausted and stressed and it was no fun. I am not quite sure what to do to fix this one. Probably less social media and more self-discipline.

So those are the broad strokes of my year. All those goals are attainable, and in my control,  so hopefully I will reach them.

What plans do you have for the New Year? Good luck for achieving them,  and best wishes for a healthy and prosperous 2018!

 

The Best of The Goose’s Quill 2016

December 29, 2016 By Leave a Comment

As 2016 winds to a close, I take a look back and see what Goose’s Quill posts resonated with my readers the most. I often get surprised! Here are the top 20 of the year:

  1. Productivity and Expectations
  1. A Clean-Out Vacation
  1. Summer Slump: Is it September Yet?
  1. Gans Family Reunion 2016: Blood is Thicker than Water
  1. Beta Readers: A Vital Part of the Process
  1. Trans-Siberian Orchestra
  1. The Best of the Goose’s Quill 2015
  1. Research and Citations: Save Time, Get it Right from the Start
  1. The Dread Synopsis
  1. Book Launch! But What to Read?
  1. Critique Groups: A Resource Worth Having
  1. Book Fair Magic: Casting a Reading Spell
  1. Evolution of a Speaker: From Wrecked to Relaxed
  1. A Successful, Grateful Book Launch for The Witch of Zal
  1. My First Author Panel: The Student Becomes the Teacher
  1. Learning to Excel: Spreadsheets and Writing
  1. How To Cope With Book Launch Anxiety
  1. My Biggest Takeaway: 2016 Philadelphia Writer’s Conference
  1. Musings on Grief and Comfort

And my #1 read post of 2016:

  1. The Witch of Zal Book Trailer

Thank you everyone for reading The Goose’s Quill! Have a safe and Happy New Year, and I will see you in 2017!

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Productivity and Expectations

August 4, 2016 By 2 Comments

July TotalsWorst. Month. Ever. July’s word count scraped the bottom of the barrel. My productivity hit the lowest monthly number since I started tracking in January. So, naturally, I have beaten myself up over this failure for many a day.

I managed 11,700 words in July. Which is not nothing, by the way. 11,700 words either drafted, revised, or copyedited. Not a terribly small number. Many writers would be proud of that number.

But.

Among all my data, for the month of July sits a big goose egg next to Veritas, my current work in progress. Zero. Nada. Nothing. Not a single word on my WIP. For an entire month.

Veritas Goose EggIt’s killing me.

I went to the Writer’s Coffeehouse in Willow Grove over the weekend, and afterwards got to talking with Marie Lamba. I lamented to her about my lack of productivity, that I had not worked on my WIP all month, and how upset that made me. She said:

“Your problem is that you expected to work on it.”

That stopped me. Because she was right. I knew my writing time would be almost nil. I knew I had other obligations that would take up what writing time I had. I knew I’d have a small shadow pretty much 24/7 for July. And yet I had somehow expected to work on my WIP in some significant manner.

Because I always expect too much from myself.

I always think I can do more in a given time frame than I can. I always think I will have more time than I do. I always think I will have more energy than I have. I always think life will not throw me obstacles the way it does. Always.

In other words, I have unrealistic expectations.

And that will always lead to disappointment.

Now, I don’t mean not to push myself to the fullest or to use this as an excuse to get lazy. Because, yes, I need to up my productivity where I can. But I need to get better at understanding when I actually CAN increase productivity and when I merely BELIEVE I can. Successfully parsing those two will result in a much healthier attitude.

By adjusting my expectations, I hope to gain more contentment in spending time with my daughter, lose the guilt of work left undone, and stop beating myself up so much.

So what about you? Do you lay unrealistic expectations on yourself?

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The Best of The Goose’s Quill 2015

January 7, 2016 By Leave a Comment

At the beginning of a new year, we typically look forward to the year ahead. Sometimes, though, it is helpful to look back in order to see how far you have come, and evaluate how you did in the past year. I examined my top 20 posts this past year and found that readers read a good mixture of craft and marketing, as well as some of my more personal writing-life posts. In case you missed any, here are the Best of The Goose’s Quill 2015. Enjoy!

  1. When The Hero Is Not The Protagonist
  1. What Big Question Do You Write To Answer?
  1. How To Measure Growth As A Writer
  1. Our Characters’ Other Lives
  1. Adventures In The Land of Zal
  1. Marketing: Doing The Things You Don’t Want To Do
  1. Book Trailer Beginnings
  1. The Truth About Your Productivity
  1. Anticipation Angst and Announcement
  1. The New To-Do List
  1. Introverts, Extroverts, and Social Pain
  1. The Insidious Persistence of Grief
  1. My Biggest Takeaway: 2015 Philadelphia Writers’ Conference
  1. Philadelphia Writers’ Conference: My Annual Oil Change
  1. Writing Longhand: A Generational Divide
  1. Working Vacation: Yes or No?
  1. Empathy: Curse or Blessing?
  1. Revising My Writing Process
  1. Marketing Bits and Pieces

And my #1 post of 2015:

  1. THE WITCH OF ZAL Cover Reveal and Surprise!

NEW RELEASE!

Thank you for reading in 2015—I hope you continue to join me in 2016!

Detours on the Writing Road

May 24, 2012 By 4 Comments

I have to admit that for a creative type, I am pretty type-A about some things. In many ways I am highly routinized, and in some ways I’m just a touch obsessive-compulsive. I like to set goals and reach them in an orderly fashion. I like things to progress steadily, to be able to count on a schedule, to be able to move forward at a predictable pace.

Then I had a baby, and all that went out the window.

Now my toddler is two, and I have learned a lot about rolling with the flow in the past 2+ years. My daughter does not nap predictably. She usually sleeps well at night, but some nights (like last night) she was up from 3-5 AM. I don’t know why. So my “free time” and my state of exhaustion varies quite a bit.

Therefore, I can’t count on moving forward steadily on my writing. This has been an incredibly hard thing for me to deal with. Before my daughter, I could churn out words like nobody’s business. Now I struggle to get a few hundred a day. It is frustrating, and at times I am impatient and irritated as my type-A facet conflicts with my Mommy facet.

But on the whole, I have learned to be a little more laid back. Being more flexible does not mean I am not as driven as I’ve always been—it just means I’ve realized the drive will be longer than I planned. I also have learned to be more forgiving of myself when I don’t hit my goals. Partly because I have realized I often set unrealistic goals, and partly because sometimes there are simply things out of my control.

For instance, two weeks ago my daughter had vomitus eruptus. For a week. Then I got it. For a week. I did manage to get some work done, but I was nowhere near as productive as I normally am. Things like this happen when you’ve got a kid. You can’t plan for it, and you can only get through it as best you can. So instead of beating myself up for not getting as much done as I had hoped in the past two weeks, I can choose to look at how much I DID accomplish and be proud of that. (Thanks to writer pal Jerry Waxler for teaching me the value of perspective!)

Perhaps at this time in my writing career, a weekly goal would be more productive than a daily goal. With toddlers, the doctors say not to worry about how much they eat in a single day—because that can vary widely—but to look at the weekly consumption to make sure they are eating enough. So with my writing. My daily writing can vary widely in productivity, so making a weekly goal may suit me better. Certainly looking back over an entire week will leave me feeling more positive about my progress than some single days do!

As I try to plan how to reach my goals from my current position, I do so knowing that there will be detours along the way. I hope to face such detours with calm and with an open mind.

After all, the same thing that makes a detour scary is the thing that makes it exciting—you never know where you will end up or what you will find along the way.

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