The Fish Mafia: Something’s Fishy Here

I wrote about our newly acquired Fish Mafia a little while ago—including cannibalism and a war for leadership. At the time of that writing, we had 4 surviving fish. The most aggressive fish was Sparkleshine, the one who we believed cannibalized his tankmate on his first night (Jan 7th). But no other fish had mysteriously vanished, so we hoped things would settle down.

Then two things happened:

RIP SPARKLESHINE. Sometime between 10 PM Monday (Jan 16th) and 1 AM Tuesday (Jan 17th), the guppy Sparkleshine passed away in his tank. He was a pioneer, first populating this tank with Seashell. He ate his first tankmate in the dead of night, and waged a constant battle for dominance with his 3 new tankmates. An unexplained midnight leap from his tank left him mostly dead, and he survived only a couple of days thereafter. His young owner found him expired half-hidden under a seashell decoration this morning, and he has received the proper burial at sea. Young owner has agreed to stick with the three surviving fish for the time being, as they seem to get along without the fights and harassment seen with cannibal fish Sparkleshine.

Sparkleshine of the Fish Mafia

RIP Sparkleshine

We closed off the 1/8th inch gap around the top of the aquarium with some mesh. The remaining 3 fish—Seashell 2, Flower, and Gem—live peaceably together under the leadership of Seashell 2.

And then this happened:

FISH NEWS FLASH: SPARKLESHINE EXONERATED! Yesterday (Jan 21st), Young Owner’s Father noticed something by the back leg of the aquarium table. Further investigation found it to be the remains of Seashell 1, who vanished under mysterious circumstances on his first night in the aquarium. Young Owner’s Parents feel bad they did not discover this earlier, because immediate anti-leaping deterrents would have saved Sparkleshine, who leapt to his own death just last weekend. This discovery clears Sparkleshine of the suspicion of cannibalism which had clouded his short life since Seashell 1’s unexplained disappearance. While this clears Sparkelshine’s name and puts Seashell 1 to rest, the mystery of how both these fish managed to leap through a 1/8th inch opening in the top of the aquarium in almost total darkness in the middle of the night remains open. RIP Seashell 1. RIP Sparkleshine–no longer known as the cannibal fish.

The mystery of Seashell 1’s disappearance is solved, Sparkleshine’s name is cleared, and peace reigns in the Fish Mafia. But for how long? The aquarium experiment continues.

Seashell 1 of the Fish Mafia

RIP Seashell 1

**Seashell 2 and Flower died within 2 days of each other in December 2017.

***Gem died May 12th, 2018.

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Thoughts Inspired by Writers Resist Philadelphia

Writers Resist PhiladelphiaLast Sunday, at the Writers Resist Philadelphia event, I was reminded of the power of words to create  history. Where would the American Revolution have been without the pamphlets of Thomas Paine? Where would the Civil Rights Movement have been without the speeches of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.? Where would the larger cultural movement of the 1960s have been without the protest songs that still resonate today?

I was reminded of the power that writers have to encapsulate their time. To take a snapshot of history. To speak of hidden truths. To remake the world.

On Sunday in Philadelphia, we remembered and relived the past so that we could envision the future. We came together, writers and freedom lovers—men and women and children, people who are white and black and Hispanic and Asian and somewhere in between. Our gathering felt not so much like a protest but—if I may coin the term—a Remembrance. A day to remind ourselves what our country is, a reminder of the freedoms that we are all guaranteed, a reminder that there is an America worth fighting for that has nothing to do with Democrats and Republicans, conservatives and liberals, and has everything to do with the rights of every one of us to enjoy the promises listed in the Constitution.

We heard words from men and women, black and white, Jewish and Arabic, disabled and gay, Native and immigrant—all the voices blending together to tell a story that is uniquely American. The voices were many and varied, yet they all spoke of the one thing that unites us all—our  Humanity.

We in America have been blessed for the last 240 years to have freedoms not often seen anywhere else in the world, to have them written into our Constitution and given to us as a birthright. On Sunday, we remembered how lucky we are, and we reminded everyone who heard those words that we have come far—but we still have such a long way to go.

Writers Resist PhiladelphiaWe reminded ourselves why we speak, why the words of these people still matter—because these are precious rights, and we in America have often taken them for granted. We cannot be complacent, because there are always those who would take those rights from us if we let them—and we must not let them.

On Sunday, we marked the progress of our journey toward equality, but it has taken such a long, long time to get here. We have traveled a great distance, but we are nowhere near the end of the road. We cannot—we will not—sit back and lose the progress we’ve made.

We were reminded that We The People are the power in America—and that means all people. We must not allow political demagogues and media pundits to define who we are as Americans. Anyone who lived through the horror of 9/11 will remember what it meant to be American first—without party, without ethnicity, without race. On that day, we were Americans—united in spirit, in purpose. Together we rose from the ashes of the Twin Towers.

Throughout history, writers have spoken truth to power. On Sunday in Philadelphia, we reaffirmed our commitment to continue to do just that. On that day we reminded America how hard the road to this mile marker in time has been—and  how unforgivable it would be to betray all the blood, tears, and suffering it took to get here.

On Sunday, Writers Resist Philadelphia made a promise to all Americans:

The voice of America will not be shouted down in a press conference or kicked out of the White House. The writers of America are watching. We will speak. We will not be silenced.

And we are legion.

Writers Resist Philadelphia

 

 

 

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Productivity: Checking in with 2016

Some of you may remember that at this time last year, I created a new work schedule to boost my productivity. So, how did it go? Let’s look at the numbers and find out.

I had some hope of hitting 500,000 words this year, but I fell short. My grand total was 417,914. Not bad at all. Now, I didn’t write all those words from scratch—those are how many words passed through my brain in some form or another this year.

I break my word count into 3 categories: Drafting (words from scratch), Revise/Rewrite (major reworking of already existing words), and Copyedit/Polish (nitty-gritty editing in the final stage of writing). The breakdown looked like this:

Productivity word count breakdown

Not surprisingly, the Drafting was the lowest number (25.3%) since it takes the most time and effort. Revision/Rewrite (also a lot of thinking involved) came in at 27.1%. Copyediting/Proofreading (when the manuscript should be fairly clean) topped out at 47.5%.

Here’s what my monthly word totals came to:

Productivity word count monthly break down

You may recall that in August I bemoaned the low total for July. So you are probably wondering if I also lost my mind when I saw the abysmal 8,586 for December. No, I did not.

Part of my reason for not getting down on myself for December’s low productivity is that I had adjusted my expectations. The Thanksgiving-New Year’s timeframe is always a very hectic time, with lots of traveling, visiting, and special events to attend. Even hitting my monthly average of 35,000 words would have been unrealistic.

The other reason the number didn’t upset me was because I had a very important project that I simply could not quantify via word count. I finished a new book with my co-authors, and by December it was ready to be sent to agents. So I spent a great deal of time in December researching agents. Once I compiled a list of 50, I put together the query letters and their accompanying pages/synopses.

So, I begin 2017 content that my work schedule has increased my productivity, and hopeful that the queries I send out in January will move my career ahead by getting me an agent.

Have you re-evaluated your current work routine? Is it still working for you? Will you be making changes in 2017?

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The Best of The Goose’s Quill 2016

As 2016 winds to a close, I take a look back and see what Goose’s Quill posts resonated with my readers the most. I often get surprised! Here are the top 20 of the year:

  1. Productivity and Expectations
  1. A Clean-Out Vacation
  1. Summer Slump: Is it September Yet?
  1. Gans Family Reunion 2016: Blood is Thicker than Water
  1. Beta Readers: A Vital Part of the Process
  1. Trans-Siberian Orchestra
  1. The Best of the Goose’s Quill 2015
  1. Research and Citations: Save Time, Get it Right from the Start
  1. The Dread Synopsis
  1. Book Launch! But What to Read?
  1. Critique Groups: A Resource Worth Having
  1. Book Fair Magic: Casting a Reading Spell
  1. Evolution of a Speaker: From Wrecked to Relaxed
  1. A Successful, Grateful Book Launch for The Witch of Zal
  1. My First Author Panel: The Student Becomes the Teacher
  1. Learning to Excel: Spreadsheets and Writing
  1. How To Cope With Book Launch Anxiety
  1. My Biggest Takeaway: 2016 Philadelphia Writer’s Conference
  1. Musings on Grief and Comfort

And my #1 read post of 2016:

  1. The Witch of Zal Book Trailer

Thank you everyone for reading The Goose’s Quill! Have a safe and Happy New Year, and I will see you in 2017!

The Goose's Quill logo

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Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Trans-Siberian OrchestraSometimes among the frenzy of the season, it’s good to take a break and relax a little. So last weekend my husband and I went to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. We managed to pick the only day so far that we have had ice and snow to go to the show, but we arrived in good time.

While the seats in the Wells Fargo Center were a squeeze even for my small frame, they were in a good position. My husband would have liked to be closer to the stage, but once the show started I felt that being as far back as we were gave us the best vantage point for all the special effects.

Most people are familiar with a few of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s songs—most likely the Wizards in Winter, which many people use in their fancy Christmas light displays. Their music is energetic, rocking, and enthusiastic. Their stage show is mind-blowing, with psychedelic lasers, flashing strobes, a huge screen with quick-cut montages, and pyrotechnics.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra Trans-Siberian Orchestra Trans-Siberian Orchestra

 

 

 

So needless to say, I had a panic attack.

After spending the first 20 minutes of the show with my eyes closed to block the sensory overload, the worst of the panic ebbed and I could relax enough to actually watch (most) of the rest of the show.

I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Their first act consisted mostly of a themed story, The Ghosts of Christmas Eve, tying all the songs together. The story itself was simple, but it served its purpose to frame the music admirably. The second act had their older hits, rounding out the night with a mix of ballads, jazz, and rock.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Audience lighting up a ballad

Trans-Siberian Orchestra

 

 

 

 

The lead band member said they had been together for 20 years. I would love to see what their early shows were like. Neither technology nor budget would have allowed for the early shows to be anything like they are now. A video on the evolution of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra would be fascinating.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra

When the lights came up, a haze filled the building. For one moment of blurred reality, it seemed the haze had made its way outside, for a dense fog filled the warming midnight air.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra

The music was wonderful and the show amazing. I am so glad we got to see this dazzling Trans-Siberian Orchestra Christmas show.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra Trans-Siberian Orchestra

Merry Christmas, everyone! Have a happy, peaceful holiday season.

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Year-End Reflections: Looking back to move forward

I know that we still have a few weeks until the end of 2016, but I’m in a reflective mood. Thanksgiving was a time to reflect on the many good things in my life. My upcoming birthday is a time to see where I am and where I’m going. Christmas is always a time of joy and hope. And eventually the New Year will be here. So my year-end reflections linger for quite a long time.

Thanksgiving was hectic this year, with a compressed travel time, but the holiday did hold some quiet moments—and a great deal to be thankful for. My family means the world to me, and the fact that we are all healthy, safe, and content in our lives is a blessing.

Witch of Zal year-end reflectionsOn my “book birthday” I looked at where I started with my book, The Witch of Zal, and where I stood after a year. I needed to assess the way I spent my time and energy in marketing the book to see what worked, what didn’t, and where I could improve. So it is with my real birthday—I need to assess what I have done through the past year, and what I need to change or tweak to get me closer to the goals I have for my life.

Christmas has long been my favorite time of year. The idealist in me has always responded to the “peace on earth, goodwill to men” mantra of the season. I’m all for anything that makes people actively think about how they treat other people, and encourages generosity and inclusion. With the recent election leaving so many people reeling and frightened for themselves or people they love, I need the healing power of Christmas to help me get back to believing in the inherent goodness of people.

Christmas decorations also brings back a lot of memories in my year-end reflections. So many of my ornaments are sentimental as well as beautiful. The Little Drummer Boy commemorating the year I played said character while having a high fever and dealing with a similarly ill cast:

Little Drummer Boy ornament year-end reflections

An Egyptian-themed ball that I bought for my best friend, who died before we exchanged presents:

Egyptian ornament year-end reflections

Many horse and unicorn ornaments, because, well, horses and unicorns!

Unicorn ornament year-end reflections

New family ornaments for my wedding and my daughter’s birth:

Family ornament year-end reflections

I don’t need an angel to show me that I have had a pretty wonderful life.

Then comes New Year, that time of year is intimately associated with resolutions. No resolutions for me, but I do create goals for the year—both personal and business. For instance, I have new plans for marketing my book. Also, I need to push outside my personal comfort zone to continue to expand my career.

So this past week I have indulged in some year-end reflections. Overall, I’m happy with where I am, and looking forward to the road ahead. I’m a little nervous, because life stories always have unexpected plot twists, but I hope I can rise to meet any challenges I face.

Does the end of the year make you thoughtful, or is it just another time of year for you?

Christmas tree year-end reflections

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My First Author Panel: The Student Becomes the Teacher

I’ve been on the marketing road for a year now, but my first author panel happened yesterday. The panel was part of a Founder’s Week celebration at my high school Mount Saint Joseph Academy. Five alumnae authors took the stage to talk to the girls about the writing life.

MSJA Author PanelMy fellow authors were Jane Kelly (class of 1966), Elizabeth Barker (1974), Louise Pisano Simone (1977), and (via Zoom—kinda like Skype) Cat Zakrzewski (2011). Louise and I met as we wandered the halls together trying to find our pre-panel coffee and donuts. Once we found the others, we traded stories of what the school had been like when we went there.

The students (all girls) were enthusiastic and eager. Each author spoke a little about how we came to be writers, and we all had very different stories. This illustrated that no writer’s journey is the same, and comparing your journey to others’ only leads to frustration.

Our different paths (and our age spread) also gave many perspectives on the business of publishing, although I did warn the girls that anything we told them today would likely be out of date in six months, that’s how fast publishing is changing!

The students had a chance to ask us questions, including one about how to handle rejection. The other authors spoke about the opportunities of self-publishing or hybrid publishing, and using rejection to motivate you to reach higher. I used my experience as a reader for agent Marie Lamba to explain that rejection is usually not personal. It’s not a statement about you, or even about your work, it is more often a business decision that has nothing to do with you personally. So we all stressed to not allow doubt to creep in and to keep going—persistence does pay off.

MSJA Author Panel

Kerry Gans, Elizabeth Barker, Louise Pisano Simone, and Jane Kelly (missing: Cat Zakrzewski)

After the author panel, the girls came up and speak to us if they chose. I have to say that 1) their uniforms now are much nicer than the ones we had, and 2) so many of the girls reminded me of me and my friends at that age. They had questions for me about fan fiction (which I mentioned that I had written when I was at the Mount), about process, and about how to make a re-envisioned story like The Witch of Zal your own. (That last was from a young lady who liked to write fractured fairy tales.) Great questions, although I prefaced most answers with, “This is my way, but it may not be your best way.”

The high point of the event for me was when the fractured-fairy-tale student first approached me. She had this huge grin and said, “I read your book with my little sister! I loved it, and when I saw your name on the list here I couldn’t believe it!” As the first reader I have ever met who I didn’t know personally, she is now my favorite fan!

After the event, I snuck backstage (I had been a theater geek in high school). I found to my surprise that the initials my friend and I had painted on the wall with glow paint were still there, along with a poem written on the back of a dressing room door written by another classmate.

My initials backstage at the author panel at MSJAPoem on the door at MSJA author panel

The whole morning was a great time from start to finish. I am so grateful that my first author panel was in a place that still feels like home.

Where was your first author panel, and what was your experience?

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Thankful for One Year as a Published Author

Thankful for one year of The Witch of ZalMy debut novel, The Witch of Zal, launched November 4, 2015, so I have been doing this published-author thing for a little over a year now. On this Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the many people who have helped me make the transition, and for the many experiences that have helped me grow as an author and a person in the past year.

First, I am thankful to all the people who helped me improve my craft over the years, and who supported me through the writer’s journey, such as J. Thomas Ross, Nancy Keim Comley, Gwen Huber, Matt Q. McGovern, Bob Drumm, Lois Steinberg, Kathryn Craft, Jonathan Maberry, Don Lafferty, Jim Kempner, Jeff Pero, Keith Strunk, Donna Galanti, and all the others who have supported me in hundreds of small ways.

Second, I am thankful for those who gave me business advice and guidance, such as Jonathan Maberry, Donna Galanti, Marie Lamba, Uwe Stender, my publisher Charles Day and his editor Mary Harris, various people I have chatted with at author events, and pretty much everyone at the Writers’ Coffeehouses who bring perspective and their own experiences to the table every month.

Third (maybe this should be first, LOL) I am thankful for my family. My parents for encouraging me all my life, my brother for not killing me when we were kids, my husband for putting up with my living in a dream world, and my daughter for believing I am an artist even when I don’t feel like one. Also, for my extended family and life-long friends for supporting and encouraging me through this long, strange journey.

Thankful for summer campFinally, I am thankful for challenges. Yes, challenges. Because as an introvert with anxiety disorder, being a published author is a smorgasbord of panic-inducing moments. Book launch. Speeches. Group author events. Traveling to places unknown. Summer camp workshops—with real live actual kids. So many kids. Author panels. Talking to strangers. Lots and lots of talking to strangers. However, I have faced these challenges so far and conquered the fear. I have stepped out of my comfort zone and stretched myself as a person.

I am thankful for this first year as a published author—and to all the many people who have helped get me here. Writing is the effort of a single person, but publishing takes a community. I am so thankful that all of you are mine.

Thankful for book launch

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

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November: Full Speed Ahead

NJASL November conferenceIt’s hard for me to believe that we are already more than halfway through November. For all that October seemed to take forever to get through, November has flown—and the last few weeks are going to move at high speed for me.

This week I have back-to-back book gigs. The first is the New Jersey Association of School Librarians fall conference on Friday. I have a fondness for the NJASL conference—my very first book event when my book got published last year! I look forward to meeting many awesome librarians and chatting with them about books in Authors’ Alley.

The next day, Saturday, I travel to Elkins Park in Pennsylvania for a multi-author children’s book event. I have never been to Open Book bookstore before, but with 20+ authors expected, with readings and a panel, it sounds exciting. My first ever panel—eek! Hopefully I will not trip over my own tongue. Come on down and join the fun!

Then we have Thanksgiving, which is always a whirlwind in and of itself. Traveling, family visits, stuffing ourselves until we need to wear sweatpants…By the time everything is over, I need a vacation to recover from the holiday!

I will not get said vacation, though, because on November 30th I will again venture into Pennsylvania—this time at my high school alma mater as part of an Author’s Panel. Five of us (all female, all alumnae) will talk to the girls about how we got where we are and what it’s like being a female author today. I don’t know who the other authors are or what they write, but I am eager to find out.

Oh, and I am trying to get materials together to start querying one of my novels.

So that’s my November in a nutshell. How’s yours shaping up?

NJASL signing in November 2015

 

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Musings on Grief and Comfort

“Words fail me.” This saying has proven true several times in my life, usually when confronted with an extreme emotion—particularly grief.

Grief is Universal

Grief is a primal and universal emotion—it has existed for all of mankind’s history, in every corner of the Earth. Some cultures still invoke grief rituals involving keening or wailing or rending of garments, and sometimes I think these are the truest demonstrations of an emotion that comes from our deepest selves and predates our use of words.

Yet we do use words to express grief. It may seem strange that as a writer I find words oddly fragile in the face of this emotion. We say things like “I’m sorry for your loss” and “My condolences”,  and we mean them with all of our being. They are only a pale reflection of what we want to express, yet we understand them to speak much more than the flimsy words convey, and accept the true depth of feeling behind the words.

Grieving is Specific

While grief itself is universal, the process of grieving is specific to the individual. Some people grieve openly and loudly; some crawl away and sob in the dark. Some throw themselves deeper into living; others withdraw from life. Some need to talk their grief away; others hold it deep inside. Some need the comfort of people around them; others need quiet to find peace. Some recover from grief quickly; others wrestle for many years. There is no one right way to grieve—each person must make the journey through grief in their own way.

Comfort is also found in places unique to the individual. Some find it in the arms of others, while some find it in the solitude of nature. Some find it in the bustle of life, while others find it in the stillness of home. Some find it in religion, others in memories of loved ones, still others in music or art. I know in times of grief I take comfort in a frenzy of organizing and cleaning, a metaphorical attempt to regain a sense of control and make sense of my inner turmoil.

Grief is for the Living

One truism of grief is that funerals are not for the dead—they are for the living. We cannot truly mourn the deceased. After all, we would not mourn their life—since we loved them—yet we also cannot mourn their death, either. Almost everyone, whether you believe in an afterlife or believe there is nothing after death, will agree that the departed person is beyond the reach of pain, suffering, and the other cares of this world. So we gather not to mourn them, but to mourn the light that no longer shines in our life, to seek ways to fill the hole where our loved one used to be. Grief is for the living, and funeral services are where those of us left behind begin to find comfort and healing.

I saw many expressions of both grief and comfort this past week at a relative’s funeral, but there is one that has etched itself indelibly on my soul.

After the funeral service, we adjourned to a rural mountain cemetery, one of those places where the sky meets the earth and heaven seems but a step away from where you stand. We gathered around the grave as generations of mourners had done before us on that peaceful hill. The preacher began to sing. I don’t remember the words, but they are irrelevant, for just as grief is from a time before words, so is comfort.

The preacher’s strong, raspy voice rolled across the cemetery, washing grief away and flinging it defiantly to the sky and the hills. And the mountains caught our grief and echoed comfort back to us, as the ancient earth assured us that the deepest stab of grief is temporary, while the powerful bond of our love is eternal.

A place where grief finds peace

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